yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
