I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So many bounce houses so little time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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