The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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