So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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