I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
