i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
