can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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