I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
