ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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