Don't you send me to vm
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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