Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
