You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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