HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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