i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
