evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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