we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
