we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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