Its about making memories worth repressing
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
