You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
