it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
