His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
