She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
