What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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