The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
