she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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