Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
