dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i now understand why vodka
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
