but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
