i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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