I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
