the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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