Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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