we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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