Small penises have feelings too.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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