we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
