I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
