Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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