Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
