Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
