My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
