As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
