fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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