Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
