when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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