This is not my ceiling
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
