I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
