I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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