Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I sprained my soul last night
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
