Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
