Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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