i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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