I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
