How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
