Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
