i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize