Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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