how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
