:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
